Clarity

The road to flower farming was paved with magic. Had I been the “me” I was 5 years ago, I may have missed the road.

I have always had a strong intuition but I haven’t always trusted it. Now my intuition is as sacred to me as my breath. If you think about it has your gut instinct ever been wrong? Not for me, but there have been thousands of times I let my mind win the battle.

When I look back on the pieces of the puzzle that I was holding on to, dreaming of and guided to, I can see that this was always the road for me.

I just did NOT see it coming, not even a little.

There have been these moments of extreme clarity in my life. One was when I met my husband (very drunk at a bar in Las Vegas, a very amusing story for another day).

Another was last year, when I found the perfect, non traditional school for my two daughters. I didn’t know much about Waldorf (I still don’t) but it matched the vision I had for my kids. My eldest daughter was coming home from her previous Kindergarten stressed. It was a wonderful school but it wasn’t the right school for her. I wanted something different and more loving. I believed it was out there and then a friend told me about their new school out of the blue. Now my girls (prior to Covid) will come home covered in dirt and smiles. They have begun to cultivate a relationship with nature, to me that is my biggest win as a mother.

The other big moment of clarity was about buying Aztec Dahlias (now The Happy Dahlia Farm).

It was not on my radar. My dear childhood friend texted me about an unrelated issue and we briefly caught up. He shared with me that he had met his person and sent me a picture of this beautiful woman surrounded by the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen. I instantly agreed that she was his person. They both have that light that lights up a room.

I had secretly looked up flower farming jobs four months before but was a little discouraged when a few people laughed when I told them and thought I was crazy.

My friend told me his new love had a dahlia farm and I asked if she was hiring. He said “No she is selling her business.” My heart took a breath, an EXHALE. I know that sounds odd, but it was visceral. It literally felt like my heart exhaled.

Later that day I met Kate.

I didn’t know what a tuber was but there I stood in front of 60,000 of them.

My poor husband came home from work and I said “I think I am going to buy a flower farm.” He eventually came around saying “This is the best stupid idea you have had.”

We had been dreaming of a property that we could have mini festivals that could benefit things like ocean clean up. I had been leading healing ceremonies and doing energy healing so I wanted a “healing center.”

I didn’t realize it would manifest itself in the form of a flower farm.

So here I am starting a new business at 36. And this is why I am not freaking out, (most days I am not…there are occasional freak-outs) because I trust my intuition. I trust that I am exactly where I am meant to be. Yes I have so so much to learn, and I am learning more and more everyday. I love learning. I am also learning that it is okay to make mistakes. As a former perfectionist, this is a humbling and hard lesson, a lesson I am grateful for.

It is all about the journey. It’s about following a thousand tiny instincts that lead you to unexpected surprises. It’s about surrendering what you think you want, what you think you know, so that the universe can realign you to something even more spectacular.